I always tell people that I find it surprising that more of us don’t have anxiety. In this day in age, there’s an insane amount of pressure that comes from just about everything the second we integrate with society.
As children, our society and the culture that we are raised in set a standard for us as humans, “you have to be great at every single subject in school to get awarded for academic achievement” “have fun, be a kid be free, but not too free, you have to stay focused on the task ahead and what is expected of you”. Our very first experiences of the world is understadning that there are expectations set for us that we need to meet, and if you don’t meet them..you’re different.
I was never great in school, but I was never someone who did exceptionally bad either. I loved the subjects that enabled me to be creative, and to express myself, anything that had any type of structure (math and science) I was never interested in. Continuing into University, I knew that I needed to continue to get a degree in something that I loved, and with the support of my incredible parents I pursued a career in Radio and Television.
But even now, 2 years out of university, doing the jobs I love, jobs that I dreamed about one day doing, I still sometimes feel that pressure to be what society has decided that I be. The amount of money I bring in, the social life that I have and the experiences that I pay for. Everything, it seems, has a price tag on it. When things start to get overwhelming, when I feel like I need to ground myself again I remind myself these three things:
Your thoughts are the primary cause of EVERYTHING.
I didn’t realized until recently that your mind is your biggest enemy. Negative thoughts and emotions consume us, and we rarely appreciate the good – emotions, memories and things in our life – because we feel we deserve them so when they come to us we dismiss them. The second I became more appreciative for everyday, and every single thing in my life I saw a huge change in what came into my life, I started to receive more good the moment I decided enough was enough.
Even when you feel you’re alone, you’re never actually alone.
ok this kind of sounds like a tag line to a scary movie BUT hear me out. I’ve been there before, where you feel so alone, that you just continue to burry yourself under your blankets and mope about how everyone has someone and you are just existing. When I feel myself going to that place, when I feel those thoughts consuming me I start by counting on my fingers 5 people that I know love me unconditionally. Sometimes it takes me longer to start the task, but the more and more I do it the easier it’s become.
Don’t dim that light, Darling.
One of my high school religion teachers said this to me. She had a quote pinned to her board and everyday I would read it.
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle” – St. Francis of Assisi
I eventually pinned that same quote up to the mirror in my bedroom. It’s so easy to get consumed by the every day tasks, stuff at work, chores around the house – while I’m not saying ignore those things, but try to put them in perspective. Don’t let a heated meeting at work, transfer into your other relationships and conversations, or a spill on the counter determine your mood for the rest of the day. Your life could always be worse, your circumstances can always be worse. Be thankful, be a light and have perspective.
I hope that these three reminders help you, and push you to turn the bad to good and try and find the light in all the darkness.